Love Hurts
by Silver-Chaos
Summary: James has a hard time at home with his perfect family and he finds it hard to fit in. And when he goes back to school he is hated by the only person he loves. With constant attacks from the Slytherins and a failing love life will James stick it out or
1. Default Chapter

Author's note: This is my first fanfic so please review and tell me what you think. I am always reading stories about James being a big headed prat and Lily being a sweet abused little girl. So I'm going to switch a few things around. I am a fan of James more than of Lily so if you don't like it I'm sorry.

Love Hurts

James walked slowly onto the platform and boarded the Hogwarts Express. His eyes had dark bags under them and his clothes hung loosely on his thin muscular frame. He searched aimlessly for an empty compartment, finally finding one in the very back of the train.

He hadn't seen his friends yet and frankly he was glad. He wanted to sit by himself for a while. His fathers words rang through his head as he thought about his most recent fight with his father.

'You are an embarrassment to our family. Always running around playing pranks. Why cant you be more like me. You pathetic piece of shit. I cant wait till you leave school. So you can never come back. I wish you were never born and I hope you will never disgrace our home with your presence again. Now get out!'

He gingerly touched his shoulder were his father had cursed him. A deep oozing gash red with infection was hidden beneath his shirt. The curse would make the wound stay there for a long time becoming increasingly painful as time passed. He wouldn't tell anyone until the pain became unbearable. For the time being he would find a way to make his other scars disappear so know one would ask questions when it came time to tell someone.

He let out a quick gasp when he leaned roughly on his shoulder. He stared sadly out the window trying to fall asleep. Suddenly the door slid open and Lily Evans stepped into the compartment. Her two best friends Taylor Von and Carolyn Dane.

Lily Evans was a tall slender red head with a fiery temper and emerald green eyes. She was top of her year along with James and had a heart of gold accept for James. Taylor Von had long black hair that always hung in a loose braid and deep blue eyes. She was tall and slender standing 5'8. Although she was very pretty she was extremely shy, but never missed lending a helping hand Finally their was Carolyn Dane. She had short brown hair and subtle black eyes. She was the shortest one in the group but made up for it with her outgoing way and lively demeanor.

"Oh, girls I guess we cant sit here, Potheads here," Lily said making Carolyn laugh. James turned around and looked at Lily. She looked angry and he tried to pretend her words didn't affect him.

"Hullo, Lily," James said before turning back around. She looked taken aback that he had called her by her first name, but she shook it off.

Against Lily's orders Taylor sat down across from James.

"Come on Lily there's no other place to sit," Taylor said staring up at Lily. Lily couldn't say no to Taylor. She never could. So no matter how much she didn't want to she sat down near Taylor. Carolyn doing the same.

"So James how was your summer?" Taylor asked shocking Lily and Taylor. She never talked to the Marauders.

James looked up and smiled a bit.

"It was fine, and how was yours," he asked politely. Lily was shocked James wasn't acting like a prat. Like he normally did.

"Oh mine was fine, I spent some time at Lily's and worked at the animal shelter near my house," she replied with a small smile. James turned to face Taylor and they began having a conversation about Quiditch. Lily and Carolyn watched amazed as their shy friend laughed and talked with their worst enemy James Potter.

Soon after they began talking the Compartment door opened again. Sirius Black and Remus Lupin stepped in smiling. James looked up from the conversation and smiled at his two best friends.

"Hello Jamsie," Sirius said sitting down with James. Remus grabbed a seat next to Sirius

"Hello Padfoot, it's great to see ya," James replied. James looked back at Taylor who was staring at her lap and then back to Sirius.

"Hey Padfoot I'd like you to meat Taylor Von, she kept me company while I waited for you guys." Taylor looked up and smiled shyly, her blue eyes darting from Sirius to James. Sirius smiled and walked over to her. Plopping himself down between her and Lily.

"How did you do it?" Sirius asked.

"Do what?" Taylor replied shyly.

"Keep him entertained, I can't even keep his attention for 5 minutes without him falling asleep on me," Sirius said laughing." Taylor smiled at Sirius.

Remus and Lily were having a conversation about the Potions essay they had over the summer, and

Taylor was listening to bored. Every once in a while James would cast a side ways glance at Lily. He so

envied Remus at the moment. He had tried everything to get her attention, but nothing worked. She still

considered him a big headed prat.

Taylor and Sirius were sitting in the corner talking animatedly about Quiditch, Taylor forgetting her usually shy demeanor, and James continued to glance at Lily. The trolley lady stopped by the compartment and all of them got something off the cart. James paid for it all. Lily gave him a quick thanks and then blushed, turning back to Remus.

Suddenly the door slid open violently and Severus Snape, Lucious Malfoy, and their cronies stepped in.

James stared angrily up at them, but remained seated.

"Well, well, well, look what we have here. James Potter how are your parents treating you these days," Severus smirked. James visibly stiffened.

"Oh, hello mudblood," Severus hissed at Lily. James immediately stood up his wand pointing at Severus's forehead. Sirius and Remus were about to stand up but their henchmen pointed their wands at them so they remained seated

"Don't you ever call her that you fucking bastard, and if I find out you have I'll cut off all of your appendages starting with your smallest," he growled fiercely

"James put your wand down now," Lily barked glaring at him. He looked at her confused, but did as she said. Snape saw this as a window of opportunity and he shot a curse right at James' chest and he fell to the floor coughing. What he didn't realize was his shirt had been torn and his gash was visible. Lily saw it. The veins around it were black, it oozed green-yellow liquid, and blood leaked slowly out of it.

She was just about to look closer when he noticed and hurriedly covered it up. Sirius and Remus quickly pulled out their wands when the henchmen looked away. Both pointing at the Slytherins. Snape glared at him and they quickly ran off.

"James are you okay?" Sirius asked leaning down to help his friend, James was still coughing and his breathes were coming in short gasps. Lily pulled out her wand and transfigured a candle into a glass of water.

"Here you go Potter," she said handing him the glass. He graciously accepted it.

He took a drink and coughed it up. Suddenly a large ball of blood shot out of his mouth and a small black ball rolled from it.

He immediately stopped coughing and took a deep needed breath. Sirius clapped him on the back as Remus inspected the black ball.

"It was the furvus respiratus curse, or the black breath," Remus said after a minute. Ames looked up questioningly.

"What's that?" James asked. Lily answered before Remus could.

"It's a curse that blocks your air passage with a black substance than dries immediately when it comes in contact with air. Hence the black ball," she explained. James nodded and sat back.

He noticed Lily looking at his shoulder and he looked up at her. She met his gaze and he shook his head solemnly. She knew he didn't want to talk about it and she respected his decision. At that she forgot about it.

The group soon forgot about the encounter and they talked the rest of the way to Hogwart's, Lily occasionally talking to James, who was on cloud 9 every time she did;


	2. Chapter 2: Bad Memories

Authors Note: Thanks to those who reviewed my story. I will try to get my new chapters out sooner. Thanks again!

When the train stopped at Hogsmeade Station, Lily and James ran to the front to receive their duties as head girl and boy.

"You two will show the first years to the docks and then meet in Dumbledore's office immediately after to discuss your duties, do I make myself clear," McGonigal said.

"Yes ma'am," they answered in unison.

McGonigal left and Lilly and James ran out to greet the first years.

"Do you think we'll have to stand up in front of the hall when he announces us?" Lily asked worried.

"Probably, but it will only be for a sec and I'll be right their nest to you."

"Thanks, I feel much better," she replied sarcastically. James smiled and left to help a group of first years. As she watched him leave a 2nd year girl ran up to her and asked her were the carriages were. All thoughts of James left her mind as she lead the girl out of the station.

INSIDE HOGWARTS

"Welcome back to another year at Hogwarts," Professor Dumbledore said peering through his half moon spectacles at the students.

"Before we begin the feast I would like to announce to all the new students that there is a tree on the grounds called the Whomping Willow. I exert great caution to all, for the tree has no regret to killing anyone who comes in its path." He smiled pleasantly and looked at James and Lily.

"There is also one other announcement I would like to make," he said smiling," I would like to introduce your new head boy and girl Lily Evans and James Potter." The hall erupted with cheers as the two heads stood up. James smiled over at Lily and gave a dramatic bow. Blushing Lily looked away.

"Would you two come see me in my office after the feast," Dumbledore added staring at the two heads. They both complied by nodding their heads. With a wave of Dumbledore's hand the four tables were covered with foods many could only dream of. As soon as Sirius and James laid eyes on the feast they loaded their plates mercilessly.

As soon as James took one bite his stomach gave a sickening lurch and he quickly pushed his food away. His fathers words continued to play over and over again in his head. He stood up and began to walk through the hall towards the door. His friends, Lily and Taylor included looked up at him.

"Hey James where are you goin?" Sirius asked worried.

"Oh, I don't feel very well, Lily would you mind telling Dumbledore that I wont be able to make the meeting." She was about to protest, but decided against it. She simply nodded her head. James quickened his pace and he exited the hall.

When he reached the Portrait hole he realized he didn't know the password.

"Shit," he yelled. He leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor. He dropped his head into his hands as a single tear fell down his cheek. He quickly brushed it away. James Potter didn't cry. He suddenly thought of the one thing that began this whole entire thing with his father, His sister. Another tear fell unchecked down his cheek as he remembered the day that made his life hell.

'James lets go play,' Emily said giggling. James looked over at his sister and stuck out his tongue.

'Alright, but just for a while.' He smiled at her as she ran over to him. Grabbing his hand she pulled him out of their room, through the front door, and out into the yard. She ran a few feet a way and turned back to James.

'Lets play tag, your it! She yelled laughing. James smiled and ran after her staying a couple of feet away so he wouldn't ruin the game for her. He knew he could easily catch her.

'I'm gonna get you!' he yelled, speeding up ever so slightly. She laughed and ran over to the side of the road. James took no notice. Smiling she turned around and started crossing, laughing whilst she walked.

James smile faded when he saw a car speeding around the corner and heading straight for Emily. He quickly ran over to the street and tried to push her aside. But it was to late. It hit James' arm sending him flying backwards whilst Emily took the full blow from the car. A sickening crunch was heard as his sisters small body was tossed to the side of the road as of it were merely a rag doll. And the car continued to drive away. A long bloody gash ran down James' arm, but he hardly noticed.

He quickly ran over to his sisters body. He looked down at her face and burst into tears. He picked her up and carried her back to the house. Her lifeless body dangling in his arms. Pushing open the door he screamed for his parents. Who immediately came rushing out. As soon as they saw him their faces paled.

'What did you do?" his father roared at him. He took the small body from his arms and glared at him.

"This is all your fault. It should have been you. You should have died not her." His mother was to shocked to say anything so she just sat in the chair rocking her dead daughter in her arms.

Snapping out of his reverie James wiped his face of the stray tears. He missed his sister so much. And he believed what his father had said. It should have been him who died, not her. He pulled up his sleeve and stared at the scar that ran up his arm.

Suddenly James heard a cough and his head snapped up. There in front of him was Lily Evans.

"Umm, I don't mean to bother you, but aren't you supposed to be inside the common room?" she asked.

"Oh, yeah well I didn't know the password so I just waited up here." She smiled at him.

"It's 'alumnae'."

"Thanks." He stood up and turned towards the portrait.

"Uhh, James, why is your shirt wet?" She asked pointing to his shoulder. He looked over and all the pain suddenly came rushing back to him. He winced, but then smiled.

"It's just a uhh… small cut. I nicked my shoulder on the way up here and I guess it must have started bleeding." He smiled.

"Well I can fix that." She said the password and pulled James inside.

"Sit," she ordered. Confused James sat down on one of the plush red couches. Lily pulled out her wand and walked over to one of the large bookshelves. When she found what she was looking for she pulled it off the shelf and propped it open on the table. Leafing through the pages, she suddenly smiled.

"Aha, here it is!" Saying the spell a few times in her head she walked over to James and began rolling up his sleeve.

"Lily no, it's okay, really," he pleaded trying to scoot away from her. He winced when the fabric caught on the wound.

"Oh, quit being such a baby."

"Lily, please stop. You don't know what your doing, just leave it alone."

"Why, so it can get infected. James its no big deal. Just let me see it." James suddenly couldn't suppress his anger.

"Fine, you want to see it," he yelled surprising her. "I warned you, but no, you wont stop. So here ya go." He grabbed his shirt and pulled it off. Revealing his cut along with multiple other lacerations, scars, and bruises. She gasped and he immediately regretted what he had just done. Green puss oozed from the red swollen wound. The veins blackened and enlarged pulsed beneath it. A searing pain shot up his shoulder as he reached to touch it.

"Oh my god," Lily whispered as she looked at the wound. James turned his head and sat back down.

"You know James you should really get that looked at by Madame Pomfrey."

"No, Lily you cant tell anyone about this. Please swear. You cant be getting in to this."

"But," she began before James cut her off.

"Swear," he barked.

"Okay I swear, but what happened?" James looked at her.

"Nothing okay, just leave it at that. I'm tired. I'm gonna go to bed. Goodnight Lily." He pulled his shirt back on and disappeared up the staircase.

Lily plopped down on the couch and sighed. She wanted to know what happened to him, but she new that it would take a lot for him to confess it to her. From then on Lily made a promise to herself that she would find out what happened and befriend this new James Potter.


	3. Chapter 3: Nervousness

Authors Note: Thanks to all my new reviewers. I hope you are all enjoying my story. Feel free to send me any ideas or tips for my upcoming chapters. Thanks again! Also sorry it took so long. I was busy. I know it's a bit shorter, but I wanted to get it done for you!

That night James couldn't fall asleep, no matter how tired he was. The image of Lily's shocked face kept popping up in his head. She had just started to befriend him and he had ruined it. 'Now she probably hates me,' he thought sadly.

The pain in his shoulder continued to get worse as time went by. He had tried a few pain relieving charms, but they only worked for a few hours. He knew sooner or later the charms would be ineffective and he would have to tell someone. Until then he would have to try and find a way to get rid of it.

Setting his glasses on the nightstand he closed his eyes. Unsuccessful at achieving sleep he entertained himself with images of him and his little sister playing. He missed her so much.

"It's all my fault," he whispered to the darkness.

" I should have been quicker. I shouldn't have let her go out into the road like that. She may still be alive if it weren't for me."

These thoughts had been pounded into his head by his father ever since her death. His mother didn't speak anymore. Ever since Emily had died she hadn't spoken a word. Even when James' screams from his fathers abuse reached her ears she barely gave it a second thought. He had grown used to the absence of his mothers words.

He let out a small moan of pain as he lay on his pulsing shoulder. He knew it wasn't right for it to beat like that. The fact that the veins around it were black, frankly scared him. Cured of his Insomnia he slowly fell asleep only to be caught in the throws of a painful nightmare.

The next morning James woke up tired and soar. His nightmares had caused him to wake in a feverish sweat at least twice that night. Yawning he sat up and grabbed his glasses from his night stand, putting them on. He threw his blankets off and walked into the bathroom to take a shower. As the water ran over him he thought about Lily. He was now so nervous around her. After practically spilling his darkest secrets to her, he didn't think he could face her. She probably was embarrassed by him or ashamed. The great James Potter beaten. What a joke.

He turned off the shower, stepped out, and got dressed. Placing his books in his bag he quietly crept sown the stairs. Making sure Lily wasn't in the common room, he bolted out the portrait hole and made his way to the Great Hall to join his friends for breakfast.

"Hey Jamsie poo, are you alright. You looked kind of sick last night?" Sirius looked up at him worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a small stomach ache." He smiled sheepishly and sat down.

Remus looked and smiled at him from his book. Dark shadows hung below his eyes. Tonight was a full moon and Remus' symptoms were their as usual. It was obvious he was feeling the effects of the full moon. James smiled weakly back at him and stuffed a piece of sausage in his mouth.

Suddenly Lily entered the hall with Taylor, her eyes searched the Gryfindor table fiercely until they rested on James. She walked with Taylor to the three empty seats near the Marauders and sat down. The female population of the school glared furiously at them.

"Well Lily darling how kind of you to grace us with your presence," Sirius said smiling brightly. Lily smiled at him.

"Good to see you too Sirius," Lily laughed at him then turned to look James. Her eyes resting on his back. Then she quickly diverted them to his face.

"So how are you doing James?" He turned and looked at her nervously. She smiled and acted as if nothing had happened the night before. Blushing he answered.

"I'm fine," he quickly looked away. Smiling at the fact that she got an answer she turned to talk to Taylor about the quiditch match coming up.

"Hey, Prongs, what's up with you, you're never nervous around Lils?" Sirius asked.

"Nothing, I'm fine, its just…. never mind." Sirius looked at him for a moment, but eventually turned back to his food, inhaling as if it where his last meal in earth.

"James," his name was shouted from down the table. He looked up. It was Andrew Harper the Keeper on the Gryfindor Quiditch team.

"Are we gonna have practice tonight, that game against the Slytherins is in three days and I want to start the year off good." Sirius looked up and nodded his head in agreement. James smiled at the two, they knew the one thing that could keep his mind off his troubles. Quiditch.

"Yeah spread the word, practice is tomorrow night at 7. We'll probably be out until around nine or ten so prepare for a long night." Andrew smiled and turned back to his meal. James noticed a small ache in his shoulder. The pain spell was starting to wear off. He pulled out his wand and laced it with another spell. Sighing he thought of how he was going to get through practice tonight. Breakfast was soon over and the group left for class.


End file.
